Lightning Strikes The Postman

I don't know what woke me up first; the rain or the bad dream. I suppose it doesn't matter so much. I was laying there, with a feeling of dread as the storm rolled in. The limbs of the trees wavering in the wind, casting shadows from the security light outside...the thunder and lightning...

Then, the loudest thunderclap I have ever heard, the brightest bolt of lightning I have ever seen and suddenly there were sparks shooting out of the light fixture in the bedroom.

I thought 'holy fuck, the house just got struck by lightning'...

I went outside to see if the house was on fire or something...there was the neighbor from downstairs and he reported the same thing had happened to his light fixture.

The power was still on, the lights all still worked...

Still, it felt like a warning letter.

distant early warning

you gotta squarsh it like a juice pig!
gol'daggit it's worse then a north dakota pine wibbler...
sucks more than a hudson bay barnacle...
burns hotter than a nicaraguan saw beetle crawlin up the 'rethra...

i wish i was a lumberjack and could yell things at the greenhorns with spittle flying through my broom bristle beard. holding an axe...and just yelling.

dental yard

i ate a donut yesterday. it sent shockwaves of tiny shards of pain throughout my teeth. i imagined my once solid enamal poked with little holes, like a car riddled with bullet holes, or a sugary jackhammer tearing up the pavement.

my mother implored me to always take care of my teeth. paying for regular dental visits when i was without insurance. now i look in the mirror and in addition to the various aches and shooting pains, my teeth a manilla envelope yellow...years of coffee and cigarettes and drunken late nite power brushing and my pearly whites are far from sparkly.

this must change. i must take better care of my teeth. i am a little freaked out by all of these whitening products that have flooded the market. there's some creepily carcinogenic about it (as if there isn't something blatantly carcinogenic about cigarettes). anyhow...my motto for the rest of the year. 'flossing is great in 2008'

i heard some say 'mexican poison' yesterday...i love words.

something wicked this way comes

i I really dig my backyard. I have taken to waking up from nitemares at 3 or 4 in the morning and walking outside in my barefeet, loving the grass between my toes and tickling my leathery soles. A reminder that I need to moisturize that skin on the bottom of my feet more often…like working oil into a baseball mitt. Hell I need to take care of my feet more often in general.

But this is about waking up from bad dreams in the middle of the nite and going outside to sit at the picnic table, smoke cigarettes, stare at the moon over the skyline, stare at my thoughts, have that uncomfortable emotion stomach freak out feeling after an unsettling psychological experience...all in my barefeet.

So, I wonder if I freak the other tenants at the house out…if they were to wake up from some disturbance in the heron mental dreamworld house, want to come out for a smoke and then ‘HHHHUUU….(a heart freezing, breath stopping, didn’t expect to see the guy from upstairs sitting out on the picnic table smoking) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU SCARED ME,…
I’m not trying to scare anyone…I’m just having bad dreams lately

POTENTIAL CRISIS

even the USA Today admits that 'yessir things are really bad'...how close are we to collapse? Are we in a Soviet styled meltdown ballpark or is it more of a great depression breadline and torn and frayed harbor coats and sad faces scenario? Or is is something altogether unprecedented? As empires falling goes will we outdo Rome?

It is hot, and concrete and heat make for a shortfuse on the temper. It really is unbelievable what the last 3 months have consisted of and that I am here typing this...a move back home, a night in jail, personal economic disaster looming, suicidal thoughts, a major change in lifestyle, giving up a crutch/addiction cold turkey, a day in court, sleepless nites, a wedding, a major flood, losing the keys to the apartment...etc.

some things i need to be honest about>
i'm not giving enough effort to make things better...i am enjoying the attention i get by wallowing.

despite everything i have said, i am really disappointed in the new spiritualized record. after five years of waiting i wanted to like it so bad, but it just isn't living up to my expectations and it's not the records fault.

that some of the bad things that have happened recently are actually good for me, hard lessons and if i have a shred of dignity i will try to learn from them